Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
