Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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