gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I can't turn off my feet"
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
