I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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