i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
