Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Randomize
