I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
