my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
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