Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
