I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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