after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
