I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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