You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
