man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Is Oprah even human
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
