We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
These tits shall not be calmed
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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