So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
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I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
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He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
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