Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
