Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
