So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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