Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
