he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
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she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
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