mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
