Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
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