I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
