You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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