Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
In America we eat man semen.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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