she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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