i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
