I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Randomize
