Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
