scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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