Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize