Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
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This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
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I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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