Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
We have so much sex to catch up on
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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