I'm going to jail i love you
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
