If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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