I don't remember. Are we still dating?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
