Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
