I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
