I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
