oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
