Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
