come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
