a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize