If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
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