My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
