So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
