nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
