i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
