Duck Duck Cougar?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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