My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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