Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
That accounts for only three of the penises
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
