She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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