found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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