Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
In other news, I just burned my penis
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
