my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize