Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
