It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
