Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
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