Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
