I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize