Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
