The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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