I think I am morally bankrupt
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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