Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
