I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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