Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
He did a backflip because drugs
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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