Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
