omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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