garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
She needs sedatives and a leash
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
